Jun 29, 2023 | Mental Health Ministry, Stronger Together Support Group
Hello friends,
Our conversation this week is about something we all can relate to: being wronged by someone. More specifically, what we do after we’ve been wronged. You probably know where this is going…forgiveness.
We’ve talked about forgiveness before in Stronger Together, but this week we’re going to focus on a particular science-backed strategy called the “REACH” method, which has been shown to make forgiveness a little easier to implement and live with. Here’s a highlight from the linked article:
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THE REACH FORGIVENESS METHOD
Think about the hardest thing you ever successfully forgave. Remind yourself that you CAN forgive.Rehearse the benefits to yourself of forgiving, and know that forgiveness might help your relationship, if it is safe, prudent, and possible to reconcile.
Work through the five steps to REACH emotional forgiveness.
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- R = Recall the hurt as objectively as you can.
- E = Empathize with the one who hurt you. Try, if possible, to see things from their viewpoint. If you can’t, use sympathy, compassion, or even love (particularly in romantic relationships) to replace the negative unforgiving emotions.
- A = Altruistic gift of forgiveness. No one deserves forgiveness. Forgiveness is your choice. If you choose to give it, it is an altruistic gift.
- C = Commit to the emotional forgiveness you experience.
- H = Hold on to forgiveness when you doubt that you’ve really forgiven.
Seek to make a decision to forgive, which is deciding not to pay the person back but to treat the person as a valuable and valued person. This is about your intention to treat the person differently.
Try to solidify your forgiveness by applying the REACH steps and making a decision to forgive in several other relationships that are not characterized by full forgiveness.
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Our warm-up question for this week:
What’s an instrument you wish you could play?
See you soon,
Alex
Jun 22, 2023 | Mental Health Ministry, Stronger Together Support Group
When we think about being “burned out,” we might be tempted to assume it’s an issue just for people in high-pressure workplaces. The truth is, you can experience burnout from volunteerism, family/health/medical issues, school, and more.
Of course we want to prevent burnout wherever possible, but just as importantly we want to find healthy ways to bounce back from burnout when it inevitably affects us. In this week’s conversation we’ll watch a video together to understand burnout better and how it differs from stress, and then talk about how we help ourselves and each other recover. Some things to think about between now and then:
- What did we use to call “burnout” before the term became commonplace?
- What cues do you look for in your own life to know when you’re at risk of being burnt out?
- Have you ever felt like you’re on a recurring cycle of feeling burnt out, taking a break to recover, and then getting burnt out again?
- How do you help other people when you sense they are feeling burnt out?
Our warm-up question for this week:
When was the last time you trusted someone “blindly,” and why?
Jun 15, 2023 | Mental Health Ministry, Stronger Together Support Group
Hello friends,
Don’t worry, experiencing “enlightenment” is not a prerequisite for this week’s conversation! In fact, according to Dr. Andrew Newberg, there are two kinds of enlightenment: enlightenment with a “lowercase e,” which changes our opinions about the world, and Enlightenment with a “capital E,” which changes our essence — that is, how we think about life, death, and God.
This week we’ll watch the video linked above about the neuroscience of enlightenment and engage in a broader conversation about this “slippery concept.” Some questions to ponder:
- Is “enlightenment” just another name for experiencing God?
- Have you ever felt enlightenment as described in the video? Did it change you permanently, or was it a temporary change?
- How should someone feel about their faith or their sense of self if they never have a moment of enlightenment?
Our warm-up question for this week:
What’s your favorite song to sing when nobody else is listening?
See you soon,
Alex
Jun 1, 2023 | Mental Health Ministry, Stronger Together Support Group
Hello friends,
The first line of our shared article for this week sums up the oft-experienced frustration perfectly:
One of the hardest things for me in the aftermath of a conflict is getting out of my head and accepting that what happened, happened.
Why can’t we just summon up a little bit of Elsa magic and “let it go”? Why do we keep playing and replaying the situation in our minds, analyzing every word we said or should have said, even though there’s nothing to do about any of it?
In this week’s discussion we’ll talk through three practical strategies to reduce these “negative ruminations.” We’ll also watch a very brief video on ways to set better boundaries, which as you’ll see in the article is central to reducing the number of times we find ourselves in the types of conflict that lead to negative ruminations
Our warm-up question for this week:
Which Disney princesses are your most and least favorite? Yes, you read that right.
See you soon,
Alex
May 24, 2023 | Mental Health Ministry, Stronger Together Support Group
Hello friends,
One of the best parts about the return of springtime is all the songbirds that once again find their way to the feeders we have placed around our back porch. Just this weekend my oldest son even remarked at how loud the birds were, which was both funny and delightful!
So what do birds and mental health have to do with each other? That’s part of what we’re going to explore together in our conversation this week, but really we’re talking about something much bigger than birds. It’s more about crisis, mental well-being, and ultimately love. Please take a few minutes to read this opinion piece in WaPo to learn more.
At the same time, we are talking about birds this week. In fact, we’ll spend a few minutes listening together to the sounds of birds as we reflect on the impact these sounds have on our mental state. You’ll surely enjoy reading the entire interactive article on the subject, again from WaPo.
Our warm-up question for this week:<
What is your favorite songbird? What does it make you think about and why?
See you soon,
Alex
May 18, 2023 | Mental Health Ministry, Stronger Together Support Group
Hello friends,
Whether you call it “overwhelmed” or “anxious,” we all know what it feels like: your mind becomes preoccupied with worrying thoughts, you probably tense up a bit, minutes begin to feel like hours, and so on. It’s not a pleasant state, but it’s also a normal part of the human experience. Of course there’s also a point at which these feelings become so persistent and intense that we classify it as a form of mental illness.
So how can we respond in healthy, effective ways when we feel overwhelmed? And what should we not do? In our conversation this week we’ll go through “5 Mistakes We Make When We’re Overwhelmed,” which also gives us insight into what we can do instead to prevent overwhelming feelings from not becoming so…overwhelming.
We’ll also watch a brief personal testimony from Florence Mukangenzi, a medical student who describes in wonderful clarity how she has developed strategies and tactics to manage her chronic anxiety.
Our warm-up question for this week:
What activities allow your mind to wander in healthy ways?
See you soon,
Alex
