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Accepting That What Happened, Happened

Accepting That What Happened, Happened

Hello friends,

The first line of our shared article for this week sums up the oft-experienced frustration perfectly:

One of the hardest things for me in the aftermath of a conflict is getting out of my head and accepting that what happened, happened.

Why can’t we just summon up a little bit of Elsa magic and “let it go”? Why do we keep playing and replaying the situation in our minds, analyzing every word we said or should have said, even though there’s nothing to do about any of it?

In this week’s discussion we’ll talk through three practical strategies to reduce these “negative ruminations.” We’ll also watch a very brief video on ways to set better boundaries, which as you’ll see in the article is central to reducing the number of times we find ourselves in the types of conflict that lead to negative ruminations

Our warm-up question for this week:

Which Disney princesses are your most and least favorite? Yes, you read that right.

See you soon,

Alex

Serenity Is For the Birds

Serenity Is For the Birds

Hello friends,

One of the best parts about the return of springtime is all the songbirds that once again find their way to the feeders we have placed around our back porch. Just this weekend my oldest son even remarked at how loud the birds were, which was both funny and delightful!

So what do birds and mental health have to do with each other? That’s part of what we’re going to explore together in our conversation this week, but really we’re talking about something much bigger than birds. It’s more about crisis, mental well-being, and ultimately love. Please take a few minutes to read this opinion piece in WaPo to learn more.

At the same time, we are talking about birds this week. In fact, we’ll spend a few minutes listening together to the sounds of birds as we reflect on the impact these sounds have on our mental state. You’ll surely enjoy reading the entire interactive article on the subject, again from WaPo.

Our warm-up question for this week:<

What is your favorite songbird? What does it make you think about and why?

See you soon,

Alex

When It All Feels So Overwhelming

When It All Feels So Overwhelming

Hello friends,

Whether you call it “overwhelmed” or “anxious,” we all know what it feels like: your mind becomes preoccupied with worrying thoughts, you probably tense up a bit, minutes begin to feel like hours, and so on. It’s not a pleasant state, but it’s also a normal part of the human experience. Of course there’s also a point at which these feelings become so persistent and intense that we classify it as a form of mental illness.

So how can we respond in healthy, effective ways when we feel overwhelmed? And what should we not do? In our conversation this week we’ll go through “5 Mistakes We Make When We’re Overwhelmed,” which also gives us insight into what we can do instead to prevent overwhelming feelings from not becoming so…overwhelming.

We’ll also watch a brief personal testimony from Florence Mukangenzi, a medical student who describes in wonderful clarity how she has developed strategies and tactics to manage her chronic anxiety.

Our warm-up question for this week:

What activities allow your mind to wander in healthy ways?

See you soon,

Alex

How to Check In On Your Mental Health

How to Check In On Your Mental Health

Hello friends,
You probably already know May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I’ve been delighted to see how many different companies, civic groups, and other organizations are now using this occasion to talk openly about mental illness and well-being.
It’s also a good opportunity for each of us to strike up a conversation with friends and loved ones about mental health. One great way to get things started is by sharing a tip for how to “check in” with yourself to become more aware of your mental health status.
In this week’s discussion we’ll watch one of the best videos I’ve come across yet on how to building awareness of your mental health status: https://youtu.be/RUrpw8RLEDI These are the types of self-screening questions we should be asking ourselves at least once a month, not just in May!
Our warm-up question for this week:

What’s an activity you do that is all-but-guaranteed to bring you joy and stress relief?

See you soon,
Alex

Living Without Purpose?

Hello friends,
I’m sure you’ve pondered the age-old question “what is the meaning of life?” In all likelihood your views on the answer to this question, or the relevancy of the question itself, have evolved over time. In this week’s discussion we’re going to approach it from a different angle: what would it be like if we got rid of the idea of “a purposeful life” altogether?
For many people, feeling like their life is “worthless” or that they aren’t living up to expectations has a major impact on their mental health. For some, mental illness itself can cause these feelings to occur and persist. It makes good sense then to explore what we even mean by “purpose” when the concept can be so closely tied to our well-being.
We’ll watch a brief video–but really it’s more of an audio recording–of Alan Watts talking about a life without purpose. If this is your first introduction to Alan Watts, you might want to read his Wikipedia entry to learn more about his life and career. In short, he’s a philosopher and writer who studied both Christianity and Asian religious traditions, publishing prolifically in and around the 1960s.
Our warm-up question for this week:

If you had to spend a year either living in solitude with no human contact (including phone/video/texting/etc.), or living in constant presence of others with no real time to yourself, which would you choose and why?

See you soon,
Alex