St. James' Episcopal Church - Potomac 301-762-8040 office@stjamespotomac.org
Owning Your Anger

Owning Your Anger

Whether you’re the type of person who considers themselves easily angered, or the type of person who rarely feels angry, as a human being you do experience anger and there are good reasons why. We’re often taught, however, that “being angry” is bad, which can make us feel conflicted or shameful when we inevitably experience these powerful emotions.

This week we’re going to learn some practical strategies and tactics for dealing with anger. Not avoiding it, but dealing with it in a healthy way that allows us to feel validated and to grow. We’ll work from a short but very helpful article from NPR on “4 steps to calm anger and process it.” I look forward to the discussion and what we will learn from each other!

Our warm-up question for this week:

How would you describe joy to someone who has never experienced it?

See you soon,
Alex

Stop Being So Difficult!

Stop Being So Difficult!

Hello friends,

Last week we talked about narcissism as a form of mental illness, which led to a thoughtful conversation on the challenges of dealing with narcissists. We can all agree there are plenty of types of “difficult” people beyond just narcissists, however! I’ll bet if you paused right now to see how long it takes you to come up with the name of one “difficult” person you’ve had to deal with… actually, try that right now and let me know how long it took you.

I came up with two names in less than two seconds, and just thinking about them started to make me feel tense. And that’s the point of this week’s discussion: how can we deal with difficult people without it feeling so painful? We’ll watch a helpful, short interview with an expert who sums up the guidance for psychologists quite well. I think the advice we hear in this interview will resonate in some ways, and challenge our assumptions in others.

Our warm-up question for this week:

What’s one thing you cherish about spring?

See you soon,
Alex

Coping With the Only Constant in Life

Coping With the Only Constant in Life

Hello friends,

The quote, “change is the only constant in life” is typically attributed to the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus, though I prefer two alternate translations: “all entities move and nothing remains still” and “everything changes and nothing stands still.” I like these two translations because they frame change as a natural state of being, rather than as a disruptive force.

Who am I kidding, though: change feels inherently disruptive.

That’s why this week we’re going to watch a quick video titled, “The Four Stages Of Coping With Change” and talk about our own experiences managing (or maybe just suffering through) these stages of change. This is a good time of year to contemplate how we might better cope with change in the months ahead… or at least better prepare ourselves for the possibility of change.

Our warm-up question for this week:

When you were a kid, what was a big change/hope/dream you wished for?

See you soon,
Alex

Allowing Compassion and Frustration to Coexist

Allowing Compassion and Frustration to Coexist

Hello friends,

The Dalai Lama is often quoted, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

That sounds great and all, but let’s get real: there are many times when our anger, frustration, sadness, and fear make it all-but-impossible to feel compassion for some people. Sometimes these “some people” are neighbors or colleagues, and sometimes these “some people” are political tribes, militaries, or entire nations. What is the disconnect between this obvious reality and what the Dalai Lama is talking about?

The truth is that I don’t know the answer to this question, but I do think I’ll learn a lot from each of you if we explore it together. We’ll start by watching two brief segments from an interview with a Buddhist teacher about compassion for our enemies, and allow the discussion to evolve from there.

Please consider joining the conversation this week. There are no right or wrong answers, no good or bad feelings. The only thing that matters is showing up, being present, and being willing to support one another.

Our warm-up question for this week:

Finish this sentence: As I see the leaves change color during fall, it makes me…
See you soon,
Alex
They’re Contagious! (And That’s a Good Thing)

They’re Contagious! (And That’s a Good Thing)

Hello friends,

Hopefully you’ll forgive my “maybe it’s still too soon” subject line, because this week’s conversation topic is another great one and it even builds on our discussion last week.

That’s right: *emotions* are contagious. I say that’s a “good thing,” but the reality is that emotional contagion can be detrimental to our well-being, too. I guess it’s not really bad or good…it just is.

We’ll watch a brief video (https://youtu.be/TqRYpEDDCrg) on the subject that, while tailored to a business audience, is just as relevant to us outside of work and volunteer roles. It makes you think really hard a out the emotions you pass on to others, as well as what you allow yourself to receive from others. Our warm-up question for this week:

If you could only eat at one restaurant again for the rest of your life, but you could eat there as many times as you wished, what restaurant would it be and why?

See you soon,

Alex